Emotions and the Martial Arts – Frustration
“No such thing as a bad student, only a bad teacher” – Mr. Miyagi, The Karate Kid
During our 2025 winter break, I picked up Jade Warshaw’s book, What No One Tells You About Money. It’s a fantastic read that I highly recommend, but it sparked a realization that goes far beyond finances.
In the world of money, we often focus on the math. In martial arts, we focus on the technique. But as Warshaw points out success isn't just achieved with numbers; it’s about the emotions behind them.
Emotions are either the fuel for your progress or the brakes that grind it to a halt. If your goal is growth, you have to learn how to use both "comfortable" and "uncomfortable" emotions to move you forward.
To kick off a new series on the psychology of training, I want to start with the most common hurdle we all face: Frustration.
What is Frustration, Really?
We often think of frustration as just "being annoyed." But Jade Warshaw offers a sharper definition: the rising sense of annoyance you feel when you believe your results don’t match your efforts.
In martial arts, frustration is an equal-opportunity visitor. No matter your rank, it will find you:
Prospective Students: Frustrated by the "paralysis of analysis" in choosing the right style or a safe school.
Beginners: Frustrated when their bodies won't mimic the instructor or when a classmate seems to "get it" faster.
Experienced Students: Frustrated by plateaus and the "What’s next?" phase.
Instructors: Frustrated when a technique they can do perfectly won't seem to translate to their students.
A Three-Step Plan to Conquer the Plateau
When the gap between your effort and your results feels like a canyon, don't quit. Follow this three-step framework:
1. Identify and Name It
Problems become manageable the moment you name them. Growing up in Kenpo, my biggest frustration was memory. Names like "Delayed Sword" or "Prance of the Tiger" felt like a foreign language. It was only when I admitted, "I am frustrated because I haven't paid enough attention to the context of these names," that the frustration began to fade.
2. Create a "De-coding" Plan
Once you name the problem, you need a strategy. This often requires a mentor or a fresh perspective.
For Kenpo: My plan involved "mental training"—comparing and contrasting moves off the mat rather than just punching through them.
For Jiu Jitsu: I’ve learned that I have to "de-code" what my instructor says and "re-code" it into my own internal language. I accept that "seeing" isn't "doing"—I need time to "play" with a move before it sticks.
3. Execute (and Adjust the Rudder)
A plan only works if you show up. However, execution isn't a straight line. Think of a sailor: the destination (the port) doesn't move, but the wind and waves constantly push the boat off course. The sailor uses continuous rudder corrections to stay on track.
Identifying your frustration tells you where you are; your plan is your destination. Execution is the act of making those small, daily corrections to get there.
A Note on "Deep Work" and Stepping Back
Sometimes, the best way to handle frustration is to give yourself permission to step back.
Years ago, my life got too busy to train Kenpo. Later, I had to prioritize a period of "deep work" in Jiu Jitsu to earn my blue belt stripes, which meant my Kenpo took a backseat. Was I frustrated by my rustiness? Yes. But was it a waste of time? No. I was prioritizing the "grappling" piece of my martial arts puzzle so I could eventually return to the "striking" piece a more well-rounded artist.
Let’s Move Forward
Frustration isn't a sign that you’re failing; it’s a sign that you’re on the verge of a breakthrough. By Identifying, Planning, and Executing, you turn that annoyance into an engine for growth.